I ROCK YOUR PANTIES BAYBEH ! :D

And we'll be counting the days when it was just me and you ;

2010-03-31T21:40:00.004+08:00

HOLLA.

Im actually kinda like lazy to update my blog cause I don't have time .

Kay bullshit , Im just PLAIN lazy .

HAHA .

Anyway , I guess life's been pretty good for me .

Well of course , besides the fact that I got lesser attention from
*insertnamehere*

I know you know we both know who aye Honey ^^v

Don't screw me please .

Hmm , plus I find that school's kinda okay except for maths and

DS (down syndrome's) lessons which are extremely boring me out -.-

BOO.
School was funny just now cause we were all roaring with laughters as we saw

how cacat 3D's FT is when she talks .

Anyway , after school was fun cause I went out with my new babeh Kristy ^^

Haha .

She's very nice and c r a z y (:

But before that , we met this bitch just outside school .

Your attitude's like a bloody irritating motherfucker pussy .

You're 17 but you act so low ehh (:

Hmm.. I still remember how low you actually stoop down to when you were 15 .

Just fuck off kay .

I may be younger than you but age is just a number you blind bitch .

You're not happy , T A L K .

Unless you're too retarded to do that laa .

So anyway , Kristy's been a very awesome kind soul for actually accompanying me

for two days straight to settle some things ^^

Thank you Jing En too .

Andand , I love talking to Kristy .

AWESOME .

Hmm , tomorrow will be a busy day for me too .

And did I mention that the both of us forget to bring our cameras as we

intended to take pictures ? -.-

Angryyy please .

Haha , nvm , tmrw (:

I want you forever in my life .

Don't let go ;

2010-03-24T22:01:00.004+08:00

'Cause Friends show their love in times of trouble '

If you're not gonna reply my messages when I actually bothered
to ask about you , I'll relent .
Don't bother asking me whether I received your text or not when
you didn't bother to answer mine.
I'm done trying to swallow almost everything you gave me .
Yes , I will always love you cause you're as dear as a brother to me .
In fact , better than my own .
Harsh , but true.
If only you could see how much you mean to me .
Am I asking much when all I ever asked for was for you
to love me sincerely , accepting me for who I am and Not what im not .
And that , a simple text message like 'how are you?' can already mean
alot to me .

Whatever happened to us ?
It's like we're no more the same like last time.
You know , it has always been me tryna make time for you , at least a lucnh
or a short talk over a drink .
I tried to be the friend you wanted me to be .
I guess I didn't try hard enough .
Or perhaps , it takes two hands to clap .
Remember when you were so in love with her and just shun me away ?
What did I do to deserved those when all i did was to warn you because
I didnt want you to end up getting hurt .
Honestly , I was bereaved cause I tried so hard to fight away almost everything
from you .

If ending whatever we've achieved will make you happy , then I shall
do that just to see you smile again ..

-

Proper post soon .

Maybe we're just afraid of what we'll say to each other ;

2010-03-04T22:13:00.004+08:00

HOLLA .

Last friday was cross country , so yeah .

Anyway , after cross country , had to head back to school

to unload cartons of bottles -.-

After which , bus-ed to Bedok Inter to meet with the guys .

Joined them for soccer at East Coast Cage .

Had such an awesome time .

I played soccer like as if I've never played it before .

HAHA .

After that , all of us headed to the beach .

Played with a dead eel , scaring Aiman and 'solid'

Next , each one of us started going into the beach and played with the water .

DAMN FUN !

HEE .

We threw sand at one another .

And my face started turning red -.-

So anyway , ALL of us had no extra clothes .

So we manually dried ourselves ^^v

Bought drinks and headed home .

I mean , they headed home while I met love for awhile .

Went off at about 2110.

Great time spent !

Saturday ;

Went out with baby :)

Headed to Orchard and walked along the stretch of places .

Headed to some verandah to rest cause my period was being a total

whore -.-

GRR!

And Im sorry love if i constantly scolded you .

HEE .

Love you .

Today ;
Did the household chores as usual , talked to mum , etcetc .

After which , had to settle some problems with mum's computer

and installed some programmes into my computer .

Then , met 'solid' at my house bus stop and headed to changi beach .

:)
We pour out all of our sorrows and youdontneedtoknowwhathappennext.

We'll go through all of these together kay .

You know I Love You despite the crap treatment you've given me .

Patience is a virtue.

Thanks for teaching me the stone throwing kinda thing .

^^v

At least we both felt that tinge of disappointment fade away .

And I guess this book of mine will be given a new start again ;

2010-03-04T22:13:00.003+08:00

"In a world full of wrong , You're the thing that's right . "

HELLO .

Life's so unpredictable , I know so .
Be it good or bad .
It's constantly like a ride on a roller-coaster .
But I guess , things such as challenges help to mould you into
becoming a stronger individual and an eye opener as to what life is .

My iTunes been playing If I Ain't Got You-Jay Sean , on repeat ^^v
So anyway , started the day off with Bio/Chem common tests .
Honestly , I don't give two hoot about Common Tests this time cause
I'm just not feeling myself for some reason .
:)
Recess , up next was Bio then MT .
In MT we had to do a composition on an O level 06' question -.-
We were only given less than an hour to do it , resulting in me having an abrupt
ending .
So unsatisfied by that .
I guess people who sat near me should know what I wrote about ehhhh ! =)
HAA .
Social studies then escaped other lessons for the match against Springfield .

I feel like typing out a stream of vulgarities but they're not worth this effort
of mine ^^v
HUAAK .
Hmm , cross country's tomorrow -.-
After which , to the Cage with the boys at East Coast .
Sorry baby , I love you !
:D

020310

Do you feel for me like how I feel for you ? ;

2010-03-01T20:10:00.003+08:00

HOLLA .

My eyes are still reddd , but thank god its subsiding now cause I put
a few drops of eye mo drops .
:)
Hopefully it'd get lost within a week or so .
So anyway , there was no school today for the Sec 1s-3s as we had to do
a home base learning -.-
Managed to finish them all by 11.30 or so .
Actually not all cause I couldnt open the video for Malay .
BOO .
After which , got ready and met Aisyah at Tampines Mall to catch
Dear John .
:D
I cried during the movie , hee ^^
I shall rate it 4.5/5.

So after that , headed to Bedok to get my contact lens and then to Bedok
library to study .
I'm relieved that I manage to write my own notes for chapter 2 , im left with 3.1 and 3.2
I'll just do it later .
:)
Looks like Imma have to stay up late tonight.
GRR !
For the record , I have not eaten for one whole day and Im not hungry at all .
Maybe cause I'm just burdened with Common Tests and thinking about things .

-

Honestly , I don't get it as to why you're so sensitive .
Why'd you even have to overreact when its just something small ?
Haven't I apologized enough already ?
I've only got 24 hours for myself , of which I've to juggle with studies ,
trainings , friends and You .
You should start appreciating the fact that I sacrificed my time for You .
And it won't be long til You realized that there will come a time when I wouldn't
be able to do that .
You're the guy , you're supposed to emphatize and comprehend me .
But no , it's the total opposite .
Now I'm starting to contemplate as to whether we should or should not proceed with 'It'
Im sorry if it made you so hurt , but it was for the benefit of the two of us , especially You.

2010-02-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

MY FUCKING EYES JUST BECAME FUCKING BLOOD SHOT , AGAIN !

IT'S DAMN FUCKING PAIN !

I WANNA CRY !

FUCK MY EYES !

When it was just you , me and us ;

2010-02-28T21:57:00.002+08:00

HEY .

I feel like fuck .
I mean I just came home from a study date with Azra .
But Im still having this guilt that I actually cancelled my plan
with baby .
:(
Im sorry , I love you .

So anyway , I did study three chapters of maths , social studies
and abit of geog.
:)
But by the way , I think Im just gonna fuck my common tests
-.-
Seriously , I despise studying alot .
I've yet to revise for chem and bio .
And the best part is , I don't know which subject falls on which day .
HAHA .
And I just realized I've to postpone my meeting on tuesday to maybe thursday cause
I've to study for wednesday's ct .

I shall upload the pics soon !
:)

If you came across the note I've wrote ;

2010-02-27T21:31:00.004+08:00

HEYHO .

Im tired , really .

BOO .

Anyway , today was simple .

All I did was to go down for the modelling interview

at Clarke Quay .

By the way , its the i Models Holdings .

Ohh ya , I can't help but to say that I despise singapore's weather so much .

So anyway , met my mum there which by the way , she ditched me

after waiting for awhile for home -.-

But , im independant , so it's alright ^^v

Did I mention that I was nervous for the interview ?

But , luck was on my side cause the interview went smooth and the lady

who interviewed me was friendly ^^v

She kept saying " I love your face . It's simply sweet and pretty "

She repeated that four times (!)

HAHA .

So yeah , she asked me about my hobbies , family , school schedule , and myself .

Not forgetting , thanks MTEB for always supporting me and kept reminding me

about you know what ^^

Made me feel so relaxed !

And thanks love!

Hmm , Im also required to pay for my portfolio only but subsequently , for the

rest of my other projects , they will pay me ^^v

Which by the way is near to thousand dollars or more than that :D

AWESOMEZXZ .

My next appointment will be next tuesday at 2pm :O

I've to rush after school manzxz -.-

HAIYA .

Oh and yes , I feel so guilty for not even starting on my revision for the common

tests.

HEHE .

But it's alright though cause I'll be studying tomorrow with Azra .

I loathe studying and school -.-

How I'd wish school meant shopping and more shopping .

Fat hopes.

You'll be the light shining through my darkest moments ;

2010-02-26T23:08:00.004+08:00

HOLLA .

I'd like to say that Im extremely worn our and shaggeddd .

Haiya .

Anyway , school was fine today except for the fact that Im beginning

to realize that there are so many tests carried out consecutively .

Sighhs .

It's too frustrating when you have to revise for so many tests and that you're

not a genius to actually absorb everything you've revised -.-

BOO .

Hmm , after school , had lunch with the girls at bedok corner and I swear

that the weather today is fugging humid !

So anyway , had training which started earlier than usual , at abou 1415 or so .

Did the usuals except that this time coach made the defenders defend more

tight using another method .

After training , played a little of truth or dare before I went off to meet love :D

Went somewhere around tampines .

Kay , shall not elaborate anymore .

I love you as always ! :D

Ohh ya , tomorrow I've got an interview to be done with some freelance

modelling agency .

To begin with , it was so funny as to how I got into this .

LOL .

Some stranger actually approached me at city hall mrt station , persuading me into

giving her my number for her agency , which was a month ago .

And shockingly , she called me like yesterday , asking me to come down to Clarke Quay with either of my parent , which in this case is gonna be my momma .

Kay la , bye .

I can't help but want you more ;

2010-02-22T21:38:00.003+08:00

HELLO .

I've been having blood shot eyes for quite some time and its

happening consecutively .

GRR!

And due to that , I had to answer a series of questions about my eye .

HAHA .

And the best part is , I don't even know what the hell caused my eyes to

be so fucked up -.-

GERAM .

Anyway , went for the match held at Dunman .

Played against Pasir Ris Crest .

I swear we were so hyper towards the last quarter when we cheered all the way .

Love the team spirit .

So back to school and ran 25 rounds or so as a punishment just cause we forgot to

bring the beeps (sp) .

-.-

Stayed back to help coach with the sec ones and off to home .

Would this love ever bring us anywhere ;

2010-02-21T22:56:00.002+08:00

HEYHO .

Im happy .

Cause , I finally got a new school bag .

And wallet .

Both from RipCurl .

HEE .

Anyway , I went Vivo City .

Caught Wolfman or something like that .

NC 16 but I managed to get excess ^^v

HAHA .

After which , went for 1 hr 30 mins massage .

AWESOME MAN !

Gonna get facial treatment soon too .

This is life man .

Baby , I miss you alot .

Meet up soon kkay .

Muax :D

HAHA .

Will you promise to mend this broken heart of mine ;

2010-02-20T20:52:00.004+08:00

HOLLA .

I know my blog's been rusty cause I've been too busy

and tired to update :)

HEE .

Sorry .

Anyway , life's been a real bitch to me .

And its always my family .

Shall not elaborate on it .

It's really sad when your family's supposed to be your pillar of support ,

be it emotionally or whatsoever .

But it aint that way for me .

I've been through enough that my feelings are beginning to numb .

Thank God for giving me really great friends .

Love them !

Hmm , I've been going out frequently that I feel as if I've got no family .

Can't blame me cause it feels that way .

HAA .

School's been great lately .

Anyway , mum's FINALLY spending time with me .

I Miss You alot baby :)

I wanna go smoking with you again .

I wanna take pictures with you like we always do .

Love you alot .

HEE .

By the way , I hate my form teacher -.-

And for the record , Im just typing whatever that comes to mind.

Ohh ya , I manage to steal some time to spend an awesome time with

Nurin Farisah :D

GREAAAT !

She's petite but fugging loud please .

And she pierced smiley that Im so envious of :p

BOO .

Nanti kite pierce lidah kite , awak jealous plak .

HEHE .

I wanna find a new school bag , pronto .

>.<
I shall go for bag hunting say maybe tomorrow (?)

HAA .

I'll never wanna see us fade ;

2010-01-10T21:44:00.004+08:00

HOLLA .

Im exhausted , I can't understand why either .

-.-

Anyway , I just got back just now at 2100 .

But before that , attended my cousin , Rosalinda's wedding .

She was super gorgeous I swear .

HEH .

Did alot of catching up with my guy cousins cause it's been

aeons since I last saw them .

And damn , Udin is like damn built la sia .

*insertlotsofshockface*

So yeah .

After which , headed home and went out at about 1730 , met baby .

And guess what ?

He gave me my advance birthday gift , Canon Digital Ixus 200 .

I was so damn euphoric , I kept smiling through out the journey .

And what more , Love and I are finally getting better now !

*squeals*

Aku sayang sama kamu banyak banget .

HEE .

All in all , today made me feel like God IS actually fair aye .

HEH .

My soul is crying out for you ;

2010-01-09T21:01:00.004+08:00

HEYHO .

I typed a post which was not published and is now in

my drafts.

I guess whatever I typed there was just nasty and it was more

of me using my heart rather than my head .

So yeah .

Anyway , I went out with Aisyah yesterday .

Caught Fourth Kind at Marina Square at 1840 .

But before that , we were both approached by some strange lady

who wanted our contact numbers to become some models in some

advertisements -.-

Then at Marina Square itself , again another strange working lady who made us

try her products and kept pestering us to buy them -.-

And today , I met a cyber friend of mine who has been my number one fan

ever since he added me on Facebook :)

Just kiddin'

So yeah , he wanted to accompany me badly to buy all the things

I needed for school eventhough I didnt want him to .

Went popular and bought 2B , 4B , 6B pencils for Art .

A pink file & foolscap .

After which , to Urban Write to buy a wrapping paper .

Did my homework but left the malay letter writing cause I didnt feel like doing it .

-.-

He then sent me home .

Thanks aye !

All I Wanted Was You .
But now you're leaving me ;
Maybe for a little while , or maybe forever .
This was never the way we planned things .
This was not how we were supposed to be .

Give reasons as to why we're drifting farther apart .
It feels as if we weren't friends but strangers instead .
Why are we having this silent , cold war ?
I can't bear to go through all of these .
It cuts me so much , it's hurting me deep .
I don't wanna cry without rhyme or reason.

Do you value this relationship ?
Do you value us ?
I know we're both hurt , suffering on the inside .
But we can't give excuses for ourselves .
We gotta sit down and talk .
We need a solution .

Whatever happened to forever ?
Whatever happened to us being there through thick and thins ,
ups and downs ?
Whatever happened to those me memories we made , Now being
forgotten at the back of our heads ?
Whatever happened to the old you who was so optimistic ?
Whatever happened to 'You'll be here for me '?
Whatever happened to 'I love you' ?
Whatever happened to 'Im the diamond in your collection of stones'?

I need and want you back .
I don't wanna lose a guy like you .
Show me the hope and faith I once used to have in you .
Dear God , if leaving him means he'll be happy , I'll oblige .

PS ; I still love you , and the sky is the limit .

Press the rewind button ;

2010-01-05T21:07:00.006+08:00

HOLLA .

Honestly , Im so lazy to update my blog.
HEH .

But since Clare kept bugging me non-stop to update ,

I shall update then .

School has started , which reminds me that my class is fun ^^

Especially with people like Zul , Aiman , Jamie , etc .

But sad thing is , the girls in my class are so little (!)

Thatthat , my register number is now 6 .

WTF much .

But nevertheless , I still miss my former class .

So anyway , there was some netball inter-class challenge today .

The netballers were tasked to do a few things , one of which , we had

to scout for girls who played just now , who has potential to be in netball this year .

And I saw this cute caucasian girl named Marika (sp) ?

Other than that , we were crazy just now .

HAHA.

And ohh , did I mention that I got my N97 like finally ? :D

*grins*

Ever asked yourself how I felt when you promised not to leave but

you still did ?

You knew how much I had to pick myself up from scratch til where I

am now befor .

You knew how hurt and devastated I was .

You knew how all my hopes were shattered and just left hanging .

You knew all about me and still accepted me .

You were there to cushion my tears .

You were there when situations were tough .

You were my comfort .

You were like my guardian angel of which I always felt safe in just

about anything .

But all of these were only were ..

Then again , You were the one who cast me aside without clear reasons .

I guess your ego is just too huge that you value it more than us .

You were the one who made me feel like giving up was my only damn solution .

You made tear again and again .

You made me loathe you gradually .

And that is why , You can't and should not blame me if whatever I do or say

hurt you .

Or even say that I broke my promises of whatsoever .

Cause You are the reason as to what I am now towards you .

You've scarred me so deep despite knowing how much I went through .

And for the record , even if I did break my promises , You should ask yourself why .

Thanks for making me think I could actually trust and believe in you .

Thanks for making me feel like an idiot for loving us , for loving you .

Thanks for all the hurt and lies you've inflicted on me .

And , it's been long since we sent each other long text messages rather than just

a one word kinda thing .

The best part is , God must really have something in store for us which explains why

I have to face you everyday , in the same place .

Your so hard to be erased ;

2009-12-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

HEY .

I'm very tired .
PFFT !
It's very irritating when I always turn in at 4 in the morning
and always waking up between 9 to 10 in the morning .
I'm so deprived of sleep .
-.-
Anyway , I went to get my uniform today at Katong .
And then it rained .
GRR!

So yeah , met Zainal at about 3.30 or so .
Trained to City Hall and accompanied him to find his
things .
Did I mention I was having a bad migraine ?
Such a spoiler .
Raffles City > Marina > Suntec > Sakura > Expo > Tampines .
:D
And thanks Zaai for hearing to my rants !
^^
HAHA .

And oh , I did say I was supposed to get my mini N97 today right ?
But I changed my mind and decided to get it when i return from Exco
camp :)
Cause then I'll be able to rape my phone , HEH .
Last few moments with my fucked up 8 megapixel , samsung ultra touch phone -.-
And yes , I'll be away on the 28th to 30th for the Exco Camp.
Gonna celebrate baby's birthday asap .
Sorry !

2009-12-25T00:13:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE IT !

No more games ;

2009-12-24T23:24:00.002+08:00

BOO.

Im physically worn out .
I've been going out consecutively and coming home beyond
my curfew ^^v
HEH .
Know why I got away from it ?
Cause my parents pity me due to my sprained ankle ^^v
HAHA .
And oh , speaking of which , my ankle's healing pretty fast .
Though , the blue black scares me off , for real .
Alright today , I met baby .
HEH .
Went Great World City and caught Bodyguards and Assassins .
I felt random today and decided to watch some action movie :)
I was freezing my arse off in the theatre -.-
Baby was being a sweetheart .

So after that , we went off to somehwere .
Did our stuffs and then to Legends .
Then he drove me home .
:)

Anyway , I can't wait to get my mini N97 this saturday baby !
:D
Yessss ahhh .
But , im still contemplating on whether I should get the white or brown one .
-.-
And oh , today , Im gonna meet baby again and then off for family dinner .
Did I mention that suddenly , I have ALOTALOT of outings with people that I owe ?
GRR!
I'm very pressed for time man .

P/S ; I think that when I have more freedom at my age , I tend to lose my mind man .
P/S 2 ; I've been such a bad muslim .
P/S 3 ; I gotta start changing and try hard to stay away from my bad habits(s).

Your the reason Im still breathing ;

2009-12-24T00:08:00.003+08:00

HELLO.

Hmm , as mentioned just now , I went out with Ola :)
Met her at about 12.05 at my bus stop and then bused to
sweet talk's inter to meet F .
Thanks F for going through the trouble of coming down to
Tampines to pass me the things .
:)
Love you uhh hubby . *winkwink*

So after which , Ola and I went around Tampines Mall and Century Square to
look for my things .
Then we both ate at MacD cause I haven't had my breakfast and lunch .
Had a long talk .
HAHA.

Next , we trained to City Hall to Marina Square .
Again , looked all over for my things then had a drink at Starbucks .
I treated Ola her Caramel Frapp while I had the same thing but milk base ^^
Fyi , I LOATHE coffee alot , so yeah .
HEH .

After that , we trained to Orchard and went to certain places to look for
my things .
Finally I got it :)
Then we trained to Tampines and I bought a few more things .
=)
I'll post the pictures as soon as I get hold of them aye !

Kay , Im very happy cause Hothot just came back from Bangkok
:)
LOL .
And plus , I made a new friend who has a cool mix .
A chinese plus malay dude .
Haha , though he kinda look more of a chinese but his eyes are not sepet ^^v
No offense aye .
I just got off the phone with him cause he was driving .
BOO .
I envy people who are 18 and above man .
They all can go out as and when they want and plus , they can drive (!)
PFFT .
And ohh , did I mention that this guy is 6 years my senior but he looks
like 17 and hot ?
:)
And here goes , his Ridhuan Koh .
Cool eyy !
Freaking fair please *rolls eyes*
HEH .

P/S ; My hubby got tickets to Singapore Idol grand finale and his going with me ^^
*squeals*
Im attach to him ya know .
*coughs*

Gimme that genuine love and care ;

2009-12-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

HOLLA .

You know , I was supposed to have a class outing today .
But , I decided not to go because , since I sprained my ankle badly ,
I figured I wouldn't have that much fun as the others .
And sorry Sin Yee & Hui En ^^
So anyway , baby was being a sweetheart and decided to fetch me .
We went somewhere . (Don't have to know where and what we did)
He even massaged my swollen ankle which resulted in me being able
to walk with LESS pain :)
He also bandaged my leg and finally , the blood clot was free .
Love you ! ^^
So yeah , spent the day with him and then dropped by somewhere .
And then he sent me home .
I miss him already .
:)

And oh , Im going out with Ola tomorrow !
:D
YAY !
Starbucks baby .
I miss her like hell alot .
HEH .
And by the way babe , if you happened to read this ,
you might have to slow down a little cause I can't go fast .
And honestly , I walk like my grandmother's pace .
*cursemyselfagain*
I hate it when I feel so handicapped -.-
And worst still , I feel kinda like a retard when I have to walk in
public places .
But nevermind , Nadia is strong ^^
HEEH .

2009-12-21T23:40:00.002+08:00

HEYYA .

And again , Im veryvery exhausted .
Sigh .
I slept at 5 in the morning yesterday and woke up
at 10 -.-
I was talking to baby on the phone from 12 midnight to
0300 .
Then I talked to Matin til 5 .
HAHA.
I swear he made me so frigging scared of his stories .

So today , Matin , being extraordinarily RANDOM , asked
me out for lunch .
And then two other busybody came .
Actually three but i don't really talk to Faez .
So yeah , Haikel and Imraan joined us .
I only drank .
After that , I rushed for training as I reached school at 3.10 :O
HEH .
Played a match and guess whaaat ?
I tripped and sprained my ankle so badly .
It looks super swollen , like as if my bone just dislocated -.-
Haiya .
Im very perturbed about it now cause coach told me something
when I was on the way home with Fadhilah .
And oh , before I forget , thanks alot , again babe for sending me til' my
home .
And thank you Kelsey for ice-ing my swollen ankle .
:D
Oh ya , coach said that he wants to put me in the school team but because
of my sprained ankle now , there's a BIG question mark .
Whoa , damn frustrated now ya know .

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see ;

2009-12-19T22:37:00.004+08:00

'Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right.
It just means that you value your relationship more than you ego . '

HI .

Im feeling so exhausted right now .
And I just came back from shopping with my mum .
Initially , I had so many plans today but i chose to go out with my mum
cause i kinda miss the times we used to go out and all .
:)
Okay so today , we started off with going to Tampines Mall , Tampines
One and Century Square .
Bought alot of clothes ^^
Then to Far East and then to Orchard .
Again , I bought clothes .
And yes , my mum also bought her own stuffs and all .
And did I mention that my mum was pouring out all her sorrows to me just now ?
She cried .
I really felt the pain she's being put through and I cried too .
HAHA .
Baby should know why .
:)
Oh ya , hothot went to Bangkok on Friday .
Gonna miss ya :)
And Farhat , I miss you man ! :D

Oh oh , Im going out with my mum again tomorrow .
=)
Did I mention that my body clock has gone haywire ?
Seriously .
Everyday , I always turn in at 0400 or so and wake up at 0900 or 0930 .
*insertlotsofshockface*
It's veryvery annoying .
I'll start to get really cranky .
SHEESH .

And to You , no matter what happens , please don't give this up.
Eventhough how much we may fight and all , I still don't & will
never ever hate you .
You've make up 1/4 or perhaps even 2/4 of my life .
This friendship that we've built is worth more than all the fute and arguements.
I just wanna let you know that eventhough we're not in good terms ,
your always running in my mind .
In fact , I miss you .
And the video you sent , was definitely touching .
Kinda reminds me of us , right now .
I hope that , one day things will be back to how it should be .
Im so sick of crying .
Im so sick of getting mad .
Don't you feel the same way too ?
And I'm sorry if I've failed you or hurt you .
Let's start over and mend these broken hearts of ours .
I still love you and the sky is the limit .

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes

I value this relationship more than my ego ;

2009-12-17T18:10:00.003+08:00

HOLLA .

Training yesterday was as usual , not that tiring .
Trained from 0800 til 1100.
Did drills & then games .
After which , bought my school books & cabbed home .
Rushed through everything and met You .
:)
Miss you alotalot .
HEH .
And so , I admit that I had a bad feeling that something bad was
gonna happen .
And true enough , it did .
I shall not write it here .
Only certain people knew what happened .
And thanks alot Aisyah for like hearing me out .
:D
Sorry I called at like about 1 plus or 2 .
Love ya ^^

So anyway , I had to cancel my plans today cause of what happened
yesterday.
No , Im not sad or whatsoever .
Im still gonna be strong .
=)
I might have lost yesterday but I'm gonna win the next time .
And oh , bestie surprised me just now .
He came to my place to pass me the tickets .
Talk a little and all .
And he wore the shirt I bought for him :)
HAHA .
Oh ya , match tomorrow with Bendemeer Sec -.-

2009-12-14T00:48:00.003+08:00

I just have the sudden urge to blog , again .
HEH .
:)
Anyway , You just called minutes ago .
I'm very elated to hear his voice .
Butbut , the reception in Jakarta is so poor -.-
PFFT !

Guess what ?
I'm blogging while reading my book :)
And oh , training tomorrow at 3 pm .
-.-
Anyway , I Miss Ola veryvery much .
I feel like stealing you away from Dubai man :p
HAHA .
Oh did I mention that I have the urge to dye my hair ?
But then again , I have such an annoying coach who really demands
so much .
I still remembered when I dye(d) my hair brown and he found out .
He told me to dye it black back TWICE -.-
So I went home and used the henna to dye only certain parts .
RETARDED aye .
Honestly , my mum doesn't even gives a damn if I wanna
colour my hair in whatever colour .
In fact , she supports me :)
Which is why , I feel so irritated when , out of all the teachers in BDS ,
my coach was the one who asked me to dye my hair black -.-
Even my parents don't give a fuck .
Ridiculous laa .
I reallyreally want to dye my hair and get a few piercings done.
But , the coach always has to be in the way .
GRR !

Anyway , I miss Farhat already :D
Heh .
Alright , I shall go snuggle up in my bed now & continue with reading .

When the time freezes for us ;

2009-12-13T20:56:00.004+08:00

HELLO .

Alright , so today , I was supposed to go out with my mum .
But , my migraine just had to come -.-
IRRITATING .
So then I decided not to go out cause I'll get really
cranky and I do not wish to spoil the day .
Stayed at home reading my new book ^^
Then watched Twilight on Star movies followed by Pink Panther 2
=)
And ohh , Your coming back from Jakarta earlier than expected .
*insertlotsofhappyface*
:D
YAY !
Miss you , love you :)

And oh , did I mention that I was on the phone with Farhat yesterday
from 11 to 0415 ?
:)
Honestly , his voice melted my heart .
HAHA .
And I LOVE his accent and cool articulation .
Like for real .
He doesn't have that rough voice that most of the guys do .
Kinda like hothot's voice but , his more soothing ^^v
His such an interesting guy .
His voice is so different from his face .
Farhat's reallyreally hyper & full of enthusiasm .
He really managed to keep me up .
And made me unable to sleep cause I was thinking of him , of us and plus I had
the unusual adrenaline running in me.
Is this another infatuation (?)
My heart was beating so fast .
It felt so right yet wrong too.
I think I'm starting to fall for him .
Frankly , you got me so captivated to you .
Your so hot that you cloud my thoughts.
HEH .
:)

Cause this love was just a war ;

2009-12-11T23:28:00.003+08:00

HEYYA .

Okay finally , I went for training today ^^
Like any other day , today's training was normal .
Except that , I got stuck to a drill which was alien to me
as I've not been coming .
HAHA .
Played games & all .
After training , went to eat with Azura , Azra & another two
which I don't know if I'm allowed to say .
:)
Bused home with Azura & *insertnamehere*
*insertnamehere* said that my face was red .
And I replied " Yeah , it's always like that."
But little did I know that actually , my cheeks were redder than usual -.-
:)
Anyway , thanks to a couple of you who bothered to ask about me .
Honestly , I know who cares and who pretends to care .
:D

And oh , Im happy cause hothot & Farhat have been texting me ^^v
YAY !
And all the best for your exam results aye hothot :D
Im so worn out man .
I've been turning in as late as 0400 and waking up ALWAYS by 10 in the
morning .
This is bad .

2009-12-10T20:39:00.007+08:00

At times , I really wonder ;
Why in the hell did I bother to care ?
Why did I bother tryna to fix things ?
Why did I bother tryna change ?
Cause after all , they're not worth it .
After all , they don't see it .
Cause at the end of the day , all they do is to just play with
your feelings .
All they do is manipulate your fragile heart , making you feel all so
shitty , fucked up .
But of course , there are some who really is worth the care and all.

Sometimes , to mend a broken heart is not easy , I admit .
But its because of the will in me to get things back to normal
that actually made me keep driving , trying to fix the broken .
It's like tryna get all the glue I can get to get all the mess fixed .
But then again , it takes two hands to clap .
It's not gonna be worth the fix if the other party doesn't even bother to
do the same .
To them its so insignificant .
Yet , I keep telling myself that patience is a virtue .
I keep telling myself to be strong in every way , especially emotionally.
I keep telling myself that at the end of the day , things will be fixed .
Slowly but surely .
I keep telling myself that I'd do anything & everything to save this
relationship .
But in actual fact , I know that things won't turn out the way I want it to be .
In fact , I chose not to believe the damn truth cause I can't , I refuse accept it .

Which is why , I keep hurting myself silently .
Always putting up a strong front .
Always hiding the real feeling I'm feeling inside .
I'll go on like nothing's wrong .
At then , I'll start thinking of running away .
Cause honestly , some people say they care when in fact its
all just a facade , an act .
They don't mean what they say .
Which hurts so much but what choise are we or rather am I given .

It's okay , It's alright .
I believe in karma .
I believe that God is fair .
I may not be as pious as I should be but I know
the basic requirements .
You can loook down on me just because I drink or whatsoever .
But then again , ask yourself .
Are you perfect yourself ?
Are you so flawless that you have the rights to condemn others ?
At the end of the day , your the one with the evil heart , the evil thoughts & intentions .
So what if I drink ?
I believe that there's such a thing called 'People can change for the better'
Which is why , you people should mind your own damn business .
Your comments aren't needed .

You'll be the lyrics to my song ;

2009-12-10T19:56:00.002+08:00

HELLO .

Alright , I've been staring at my compuetr screen for almost
30 minutes tryna find ideas on what to talk about .
Hmm , I gave training a miss today as my mum was sick today .
And being the good daughter I am , I accompanied her to the
clinic .
Did I mention that my parents are having a silent war (?)
Kinda funny .
Though , my dad's at fault .
TSK !

Anyway , I know my post yesterday was kinda emo .
Who cares anyway .
Im glad *insertnamehere* sent me something on Facebook .
I really am hoping on that .
:)
Im kinda glad that you got your phone back .
But , you just had to go KL today -.-
Nevermind , just have a blast there & take care !
:D
Love ya .

I can't believe that holiday's gonna end soon -.-
I miss schooling , really .
By the way , I went out just now to collect a few things from
Legends .
Then on my way home , I bought my brother a Macdonald's meal to
surprise him with ^^
I just felt like doing that all of a sudden .
He was so elated and he hugged me :D
HEH .

I'll be the shoulder you can cry on ;

2009-12-09T23:16:00.003+08:00

HOLLA .

For some weird reason , I miss my baby
so much .
*insertlotsofsadface*
I wished he was beside me now .
BOO .

Anyway , I've been getting alot of texts from weird people .
Kay technically , not weird .
Just those friends that you've lost contact with & then they
suddenly came back .
:)
HAHA .

Remember when we first in Secondary one ?
We were acting like an imbecile , so immature .
So uncivilised , so vulgar , so violent .
Good old memories .
Yet , look at where we are now .
Never did I expect us to be this close .
Your someone that I can rant to on just about anything & everything .

And to *insertnamehere* , I kinda missed those times when things were
sailing smoothly for You and I.
When my bad habit didnt affect our relationship .
Though , yes I know you liked me & claimed that the movie we
watched had to be the best cause ....
Yet sadly , your mum smelled my perfume on you
and everything just started changing .
You don't have to hide cause I already know .
Remember when I said ;
You can't lie to a liar (?)
:)
No matter how hard you try to keep things away from me ,
I have my ways.
But even so , Im glad that we didnt just end like that .
Im thankful that I still am considered as one of your friends .
And see , I didnt turn my back against you.
So Tiara can take back her damn words .
I mean every single things I've said about you .
And that I Love You & the sky is the limit .
It still is and forever will .

I still remember those wonderful moments where we'll
talk in the middle of the night , just about everything .
Then I'll start conversing in indonesian .
:)
We'll end up giggling & all .
Or those times when it was during the EOY period where we
kept going to the airport to study together .
Those times when you would test me history using your notes .
And then you followed me to photocopy your notes .
:D
Thank you so much .
And not forgetting the times spent at coffee bean .
And also the detergent moments at Popeyes'.
^^
Just typing these down makes my eye so teary .
And oh , those times when the two of us played some weird game
at Expo's coffee bean making a fool of ourselves , reenacting our childhood
times of playing catching.
And also challenging each other on playing on the railing .

I still kept your texts which meant so much to me .
Like for example when you said ,
'We will never fall. Untouchable two- *insertnameshere*'
or when you said
'I was the diamond in your collection of stones.'
Honestly , I miss getting texts from you saying that you love me .
And I especially remember your last few texts before you flew of to
Australia .
You said 'Adek sayang kamu banyak banget'
That was cute .
:)
Your the one who always pull me back up when Im down .
And just so you know , I'll still hold on to
'Til' death set us apart.'
I'll wish that one day , all these will come to an end .
And all the unanswered will finally be revealed , slowly .
I'll wait for you , for us .
Love you , xoxo
:D

2009-12-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

HEYYA .

I skipped training today .
But only because I had to spend time with my baby
before he goes off to Jakarta tomorrow afternoon .
Sighh .
I'm already missing you even before you leave .
Come back fast and we can celebrate your birthday at
Legends .
:D
HEH .
It'll be a blast .
I'll give you a surprise .

So anyway , today was kinda laid back .
I went to baby's place and spent alot of quality time with him .
P/S Im still single aye :)
Had lunch at his place and had some vietnamese food for dinner .
Then he drove me back home .
I'm going out yet again tomorrow ^^
Did I mention that I've been going against my curfew of coming home by 10 ?
HAHA .
Instead , I either reach home at about 11 or sometimes nearing 12 .
:D
Im kinda lucky that both my parents dont even give a fuck .
Better still , they don't even text or call me .
WOOHOO .
It's always when I reach home , my parents will be doing their own things
in the room or wathching the TV at the hall without questioning me .
I Like. I Love. My life now ^^v

Whatever happened to those promises ;

2009-12-06T22:42:00.005+08:00

HI .

I think right , I think only that ...

I've been sinning way too much man .

HAHA .

I've been going to places that Im not allowed to step in

for three or four consecutive days .

And I've been consuming things which are not allowed either .

TSK !

I need to start changing and stop my bad habits which I've

inculcated in me at a tender age of 11 or 12 .

Sighh.

Then again , the pressure & influence is so strong that I succumbed to it .

That's bad man , really bad .

Still , I can't give myself reasons if I want to change .

Anyway , I've made up my mind on which digital camera I wanna get .

I'm getting the Canon Digital Ixus 200 , 12 megapixel.

My baby's gonna get it for me on my birthday .

AWESOME MAN ^^v

But , Im contemplating between the baby blue and purple .

-.-

Haiya .

I wish they will produce a pink colour one .

That way , I don't have to keep pondering on what colour to get .

HEH .

Ohh , I can't wait for my new phone man .

Counting down the days til' I get my hands on them .

You keep me alive with your breathing ;

2009-12-06T12:51:00.002+08:00

HEY .

Im going out in a few minutes time , 1330 .
Anyway , I feel really really great today cause
My dad , Aidan & I woke up pretty early just to
clean up the whole house .
:)
I woke up at 9 .
HEH .
I swept my room , arranged my tables neatly .
I also swept the kitchen and the halls.
:D
After which , I mopped the above mentioned thoroughly .
I bet mum's gonna be so elated ^^
Speaking of her , I miss her so much
:(
Thank God she's coming home tonight .
Gotta be home before she is .

Let's get high with the music spinning ;

2009-12-05T23:58:00.003+08:00

HEYYA .

I just got home about 30 mins ago .
Went to catch New Moon again with my sugar daddy ^^v
HEHE .
He fetched me .
Caught it at Great World City .
My sugar daddy wants to buy me a digital camera baby
:)
Heehs .
Guess what ?
I was freezing my arse off in the cinema man -.-
Alright so , before the movie , had my lateee breakfast & lunch at
Cedele .
Finally got to drink my awesome white wine
:D
After the movie was over , to his place .
Dont need to know what happen .
Then went to some *insertchoiceofwordshere*
:)
Woohoo !
Super happening & loud man :D
I loike ^^
The girls were all crazy .
Had my favourite mix of vodka & redbull , two glasses .
Was high after that .
Anyway , Im going out again with my sugar daddy tomorrow :)
But , I must be home early cause my mum's coming home !
WOOHOO ! :D

You'll be the colour that brightens up my life ;

2009-12-04T13:33:00.002+08:00

HOLLA .

Im super bored at home now .
Wanted to go out but , the weather just had to spoil everything -.-
PFFT !
Nevermind though cause I'm keeping myself occupied with reading
books
:D
HEH .
And oh , I just finished washing the dishes & also cleaning up the kitchen .
Sp proud of myself cause mum's gone now .
So being the girl , BOO .
Anyway , I woke up kinda early today , at 0715 and made a surprise breakfast
for my mum
:)
I made french toast for her and also baked beans .
Plus , I fried her all time favourite , egg
^^v
Heh , she kissed me before she left .

Did I mention that I've been googling fro digital cameras ?
I particularly like the Sony Cyber Shot TX1 (pink)
and also the Canon Ixus 2oo (gold) .
:D
I'll ask my second father or rather sugar daddy (just kidding)
to buy it for me :)
HEHE .
Maybe I'll get either one of it as my birthday gift from him .

We'll see the lights shining for us ;

2009-12-03T22:46:00.003+08:00

HELLO.

( I was instructed to delete the first part , sorry )
I met someone .
Went *insertchoiceofwordshere* to *insertchoiceofwordshere* .
Super exhausted please .
HAHA .

Anyway , Im kinda sad cause my mum has to go to KL tomorrow til' sunday night
for a company thing -.-
BOO .
That means Im stuck at home with my dad -.-
*insertlotsofdisgustedface*
HEH .
But Im kinda lucky cause I've got plans ^^
Even still , I feel as if I have not been spending time with my mum as much as I used
to .
Like all the mum & daughter outings , bonding sessions , laughing together , etc .
It's like Ive been going out alot and coming home late only to find her sleeping .
Whoa , sad please .
I think that when she returns from KL , I shall plan the things we shall do .
:)

Plusplus , I SUPERMISSMISS OLA ELSAID .
Not to mention SIN YEE , HUI EN & YU PING .
And and , I MISS HOTHOT & FARHAT .
^^
We have got to catch up sometime soon man !
:)
Miss ya'll so much !
And Ola , get your ass back in Singapore ASAP woman !
:D
Before I forget ,

HAPPY 16th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

MUM & DAD !

Wish the two of you guys to be together

til' death do you guys apart .

Stop hating , start loving .

Stop fighting , start caring .

Love the two of you alot .

But , I love mum more though ! :D

The light shining through the darkest night ;

2009-12-01T21:09:00.002+08:00

HOLLA .

I just came home from going out with Aisyah .
:)
Met her at 3 then took 10 to *insertchoiceofwordshere* to
apply for a job .
The manager was super friendly & funny .
Not to mention the bubbly workers ^^
Im considered lucky to have a spot to work there eventhough
it was kinda full house .
Just gotta wait for the manger's call
:D
Sad thing is , I gotta go for the typhoid injection to prevent myself
from getting it when handling raw food .
-.-
& plus im gonna work the evening shift which means I can have alot of reason
to go home late
:)

So anyway , after filling up the form , bused to Tanah Merah Mrt .
Trained to Orchard and went to Ion .
Bought bangles from Rubi & mixed them together with Aisyah's
:)
Then walked around & then went to eat my breakfast plus lateee lunch at
MacD at Lucky Plaza .
Then to Far East to buy my perfume .
Saw a leather jacket that was super nice .
Reserved it as I will be buying it next week
^^
Can't wait !
My dad was being a bitch today so yeah ,
Sorry Aisyah !
We'll do alot more things the next time ^^v
And AZRAAAA !
Make yourself free man !
:D

I sin but Im not a devil ;

2009-11-30T22:53:00.003+08:00

HELLO .

I just finished ironing my skirt a moment ago .
Anyway , waking up for training today was so arduous .
PFFT !
And plus the fact that I managed to shut my eyes only at 3.30 am (!)
I was lucky cause I had Aisyah to talk with for awhile ^^
I woke up at 6 in the morning to get ready .
So tired please.

Kay so , netball today was basically doing square drills & medicine ball .
Then followed by alot of matches against the Bukit Batok Sec.girls ,
both the juniors & seniors .
Was supposed to end at 11 but we ended at 11.30 or so .
Got changed & trained to Pasir Ris with Azra as she had to pay for her contact lenses .
Then back to my place cause she wanted to do threading .
Bought a drink from bubble tea .

Back at my place , we were bloghopping to some minahs blog(s).
Super retarded manzxz .
We reallyreally had nothing to do .
She went off & I watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians .
I was half asleep watching the show -.-
HAHA .
So I decided to sleep from 1800 to 1930 .
:)
Felt so fresh after that .
Sorry for not answering your calls & texts loves ! ^^

And ohh , there's training again at 8 in the morning tomorrow -.-
I dread to wake up in the morning especially when its a HOLIDAY !
But nvm though cause I'm meeting love tomorrow after training .
And , im still considering the fact of working at *insertchoiceofwordshere* with
*insertchoiceofwordshere*
:D
The pay's not bad .
And I can choose to have three off days .
Hopefully my mum will allow cause...
HEHE :)

I'll find my way back into love ;

2009-11-29T22:35:00.002+08:00

HEY .

I went to Aisyah's place yesterday at about 1430 .
We had a movie marathon
:)
Watched Twilight then The Ugly Truth & finally Jennifer's Body .
The movies were super good .
After which , we had a good talk about certain things .
:)
Somehow , we're going through the same things & can
actually understand each other .
Bestbest ^^

Kay so anyway , today , I met up with a someone .
Went to someone's place & did things .
:D
Awesome man .
Had a nap then went for dinner at Siglap .
& Guess what ?
Im having training tomorrow early in the morning at 0800 -.-
Crap la .

Oh ya , my awesome primary school teacher , Mdm Widayu
just added me on Facebook !
:D
*screams*
God , should seriously look at me when I was in primary school .
So yearghhh .
HEH .

And oh , my dad's grounding me for the week .
*Rolls eye*
Honestly , I don't give a damn .
In fact , Im still gonna go against his rule -.-
Fuck care
:)
And oh , I became so bold just now that I actually told him off .
HAHA .
I seriously can't wait when Im 16 man .
GRR !

2009-11-27T02:20:00.001+08:00

OH MY GOD !

Im on the phone with HotHot now !
:D
Since . . . 12 30
^^

When the world was spinning for us ;

2009-11-26T23:48:00.005+08:00

HELLO .

Sorry for not blogging for quite some time .
Anyway , life's been pretty unfair for the month of November .
Except for the fact of mua awesome friends who are always there ! ^^
Love you guys alot !
:D
But , life's getting better !

So anyway , I just came back from going out with Aisyah ^^
Awesome day with her , as usual .
She's the best listening ear cause she understands me best !
:D
Met her at 13 30 at Tanah Merah then trained to Bedok to get
my contacts .
Then trained to Marina Square .
I guess we were in luck cause there was the sneak preview of
The Twilight Saga : New Moon
:D
We were super elated !
Bought the 15 40 tickets & off to KFC to have my breakfast/lunch .
I swear we were talking non-stop that I kept saying I was thirsty
=)
HEH .
Ohh ya , there were weird malay dudes who kept smiling at us -.-
GILA .
By the way , i rate the movie 5/5
:)

After the movie , we bought make up at Watson.
I swear the two of us have ALOT in common ^^
Kinda cool .
Then we headed to Orchard & bought lip gloss
:)
Bumped into Azam !
Not really bumped but he saw us & shouted my name like no one's
business -.-
We then slacked at Starbucks & had yet a longg talk .
Then to Far East to get our nails done !
:D
I did french manicure .
WOOHOO !
Left the place at about 10 20 .

Oh oh , hothot is back ! =)
Kinda miss his presence & humour .
Been on the phone with him since... forever ^^v

Anyway , Selamat Hari Raya Haji to whoever laa ! -.-
HAHA .

My monthly bestfriend is bugging me man -.-

Your still alive in this beating heart of mine ;

2009-11-20T11:36:00.002+08:00

HEY .

I've got netball training later on .
After which I'll be going to my aunt's place
:)
Kay , Im such a sad girl .
Firstly , dearest bestie , Ola has flew off
to Dubai .
SHITASS .
Secondly , my lovely brother is gonna fly off today at night .
ARGHH !

Right now , im thinking of meeting him at the airport to have
our usual Pure Caramel before he fly off .
Fugging sad please .
Its like , its been so long since we last met cause both of
us were caught up in our things .
Then his flying off .
-.-
Nvm , I'll try meet my love tonight
:)

Nevertheless ,
Have fun & take good care of yourselves aye Ola & Love !
:D
Miss you guys already !
Remember my gifts ! ^^v
HEH .
Love ya'll to bits & pieces .

2009-11-19T18:34:00.002+08:00

HI .

Im damn irritated with people asking me about my
subject combination .
So yeah .
Anyway , I got ;
SS/GEOG
ART & DESIGN
POA
CHEM/BIO
:D

And ohh , I wanna get my tongue pierced by december
:)
I really hope my parents won't find out .
Kay bye .

Cause You Got A Long Way To Go ;

2009-11-19T14:10:00.003+08:00

HELLO .

Sorry for not updating this blog of mine for quite sometime.
:)
And since Clare(L) wants me to update , I shall then .

Anyway , Netball trainings have been very slack this past few days
^^v
Not much fitness but more of medicine balls & square drill .
Did I mention that my aunt's off for a long flight to Frankfurt , New York ?
Which explains why Im back at my place
=)
But fret not cause I'll be going to her place either tomorrow night or
saturday .
:D

Ohh ya , we had a match against Bukit Batok Sec. seniors yesterday .
And we won :)
26-11.
But I swear , the juniors of Bukit Batok Sec. are damn good .
By the way , my mind's damn clouded with something disturbing .
Something personal .
Only Azra knows ehh .
The feeling of being cheap , taken advantage .
BLEARGHH .

And I think I'm coming down with a flu cause my throat's inflamed -.-
I hate this .
It's like so arduous to swallow anything , even water !
BOO .

Just for the record , I miss MTEB so much .
-

At times , I feel sorry for the hurt you've been through .
Our fate's the same .
Sorry to say but your ego is big .
Too big in fact .
I know that your unsatisfied .
Let it out .
But if you can only just give me some
random text wothout stating clearly what you want ,
Then I suggest you just forget everything .
I've had enough .
Your getting way too nonsensical & illogical .
Im 14 , your 16 .
But sad to say , my thinking is way mature then yours .

Your words so sweet yet so painful ;

2009-11-11T12:30:00.004+08:00

HEY .

My aunt's back

YAY !

Anyway , yesterday , I had dinner at some unique place .

It was at some Indian restaurant .

Honestly , I DO NOT like eating anything gotta do with curry .

Then again , yesterday was my first time eating it .

My aunt , her boyfriend & Aidan all had second helping whereas

I was the only one who didnt even finish up .

HAHA .

They were all laughing at me cause they knew my tongue's

not use to those kind of food .

-.-

PFFT !

Kay then after which , all of us had ice-cream at Ben & Jerry's

Super nice but I still prefer Haagen Dazs :)

Nick , my aunt's boyfriend made all of us laugh like crazy .

Totally made me forget every shit the bastard did .

MTEB should know eh ^^v

After that , was home .

Washed up & talked to brother at 1130

Thanks alot for hearing me out & helping me out in

basically everything & anything

& Ola , thanks for actually hearing me weeping like a baby in the middle

of the night , at 0130

Love you both alot :D

And oh , my brother now has an iTouch

We'll be twins eh eh ! :D

Then we'll also get the same phone too !

AWESOMEZXZ .

Anyway , I'll be making my blog private soon because ;

FIRST : I have a drinking habit which by the way , one of the teachers found out .

She reads my blog & somehow I feel insecure cause anyway , its

MY DAMN PERSONAL LIFE .

Super irritating when the things I do outside school is known .

SECOND : Im still NOT satisfied with the bastard & his fucked up behavior .

And so I shall bitch about THEM privately .

Go get a room & **** her up please

You & I , we'll never be separated ;

2009-11-09T23:31:00.003+08:00

HOLLAAA .

Kay , Im back blogging .

The only reason is because ....

My sweet brother just told me that I'm

gonna be in 3C next year ^^v

*screams crazily*

Im fugging elated man

But as usual , my life's always bittersweet .

Brother & I will be in the different class

*insertalotofsadface*

He'll be in 3D

BOO .

But nevermind , we dah promise kankan :)

HEH .

If ya'll dont know , I've been aiming to go into 3C

Which explains why im frigging over the moon man

I are jiwa with Azura whose now in OBS

I miss you alotalot !

Gotta meet up soon man .

Anyway , going into 3C also means ,

I've fulfilled my parents & aunty's aim for me .

They only want me to make it to express & get into the middle class .

Meaning , either 3B or 3C

^^v

That means , I can ask them for something .

YAY !

We'll make love til the morning light ;

2009-11-09T12:04:00.005+08:00

HEY .

So , I woke up kinda early today , about 0900

-.-

I can't blame my body for waking up early though cause

Mum's been training me since young to wake up before 10

According to her , its not appropriate for a girl to wake up

late , especially when she's married .

Kinda through though ^^

Anyway , mua lovely brother kept me company by texting

me yesterday til 1230 or so .

He really stood by me yesterday .

You know , I know , they don't know .

Anyway , I love you very much .

Meet up soon !

I miss slapping your cute face ^^v

HEH .

And to you , don't misinterpret what I've said here yeah .

I love you , yes I do .

But this situation is tough .

You've got so much to know & understand .

So if I did something wrong , please tell me .

I don't want this love to ever end .

Time will tell all of those , soon .

Including us .

We'll talk about this when we meet kay .

Saying I care for you , without showing is insignificant ;

2009-11-08T12:43:00.004+08:00

HOLLA.

I feel exuberantly jubilant today

Guess what ?

My awesomest brother & I are back together :D

Not real brother but my MTEB ^^

I Love You alotalot .

But right , he know , I know another problem that Im facing .

Thanks alot love :)

I guess your the only one who stick to your promises & neve

r ever did

betray me .

Kay side track .

My mind is clouded with the text that Him just sent me .

'Let's patch or rather Yok patch '

Its not as easy as you think , really .

Try putting yourself in my shoes & you'll know why i said that.

Your not the first neither the last to ask me for a patch , really .

Here's a question for you .

Why is it that its so arduous for you to forget us , or rather me ?

We were not that long , how ironic .

I know you don't actually treat me as just a friend .

Your eyes can't lie .

Kay so back from where I was .

My aunt's leaving for her flight tonight .

But , Aidan & I are still staying over at her place til next week if

Im not wrong .

I think that its not fair that my aunt bought a new Nokia phone for herself .

Its N86 .

PFFT !

Anyway , did I mention that I fugging love korean songs now ?

HEH .

I find the girls in SNSD very pretty .

And the guys in SS501 are damn cute especially

Kim Hyun Joong

^^v

I guess for now , i love the song gee from SNSD &

Love like this from SS501.

Will keep hunting for more awesome Korean songs .

You complete me ;

2009-11-07T17:05:00.004+08:00

I've read your blog , the content of what you have to say .

Firstly , I can safely say that Im quite relieved since you still

want us .

It was never in any of my intention to inflict hurt towards you .

You make up a part of me that I don't ever wanna lose you .

You still stood by me even when you knew that I have a bad habit of drinking .

You never did stereotype me .

It hurt me so much that when I tried to clear the air between us ,

you actually shoved me off .

Not literally but you actually became so hostile .

I cried , I really did .

My eyes are so puffed up now .

When I don't text you it does not mean I've forgotten about you .

You never fail to run through my mind .

Trust me , please .

Yes , I still regard you as my MTEB .

Yes , I still treasure us .

Remember when I sadi that your better than my own brother ?

You still are cause your care & love is genuine .

You never let me fall.

But , not this time .

Giving up is just not me , it ain't in me .

My feelings towards you will never change .

Im sorry if what I've said hurt you .

Just that , when Im emotional , I say things without thinking .

I apologize for that .

I may not be the perfect muslim , you know what I mean .

But one thing's for sure , You toned me down .

& I thank you for that .

I guess , we need to talk things out .

Have a heart to heart talk soon .

I miss you by the way .

And I still love you by :)

Your name is tattooed on this heart of mine ;

2009-11-06T23:34:00.003+08:00

I don't know how to pen these thoughts of mine .

But i guess this is it ;

I apologize for not being the best of friend or the perfect

MTES for you .

I know I've neglected you for quite sometime & hurt you

without realizing it .

Correct me if Im in the wrong .

Don't leave me hanging cluelessly ,

I know we said we'll be there for each other ,

Through the ups & downs ,

Through thick & thins .

We said we'll be forever .

Every inspiring quotes , every promises made.

Its still vivid in my head .

It's like we're so attach that I can't just let you go .

Perhaps , death will do us apart .

You had my back when everyone turned their back against me .

You were all ears when I needed one .

You never gave up on me even when Im at my worst .

You helped me through everything & hear my heart crying without

fail .

Those , I can never erase them .

Your like the flower I've learnt how to take care of .

I know I've gotta be patient .

I know I've gotta look after it with care & love .

Just so , it will bloom beautifully .

That's how I feel about us .

I have to go through just about anything just so

this friendship will keep on burning like the flame .

Losing you have never came across my mind & i don't

intend on losing you .

Not after what we've been through .

I yearn you will consider these words

I've wrote for you ,

I don't want to see us come to an end ,

And I don't want to find our lives standing still.

Every time spent , every memories made

I'll cherish them .

You mean so much to me .

This heart aches looking at where we are standing now .

Remember when you said We Will Never Fall ?

Remember when you said we'll get past the obstacles with ease cause

two is better than one ?

Can't we just forget the tiff & move on ?

Im truly sorry for whatever I have done .

Don't punish me o this extend .

P/S ; Remember whan I said I will still love you no matter what ?

P/S 2 ; I Love You .

2009-11-06T23:23:00.005+08:00

HELLO .

I just came back from celebrating my brother's

belated birthday .

Long story , lazy to elaborate .

Anyway , the celebration was a blast .

We had dinner at a restaurant O'Leary'S ,

near the flyer or so .

Before that , we bought a cake .

Ate dinner then ....

My aunt's boyfriend requested the Woman who sort of

sang at the place , to sing a birthday song .

After which , Aidan was called out .

He was totally dumbfounded & super startled

Totally funny .

The woman asked him to dance to a very loud & groovy song .

& He actually did .

Then , we ate the birthday cake after he blew the candles

After which , we played billiards .

Im sorry God , You & You .

A charade of promises ;

2009-11-06T00:24:00.004+08:00

HI .

Im sleepy , *yawns*

Anyway , I just came back from catching a

movie with my aunt .

We watched My Sisters Keeper .

Awesome & touching movie .

I'll rate it 5/5

Honestly , I cried for FIVE TIMES .

I started crying the first few part of the show .

& Plus , my nose was dripping but I tried to stop it .

HAHA .

My aunt & I were both crying a river .

HUAAAK .

Both our mascara smudged -.-

Talking about that , I swear my aunt's eye make-up

remover rawks :D

I wanna buy it today .

HEH .

Did I mention that I've yet to drag a guy friend down with me cause

I have not bought Aidan anything yet ?

*insertperplexedlook*

A sister I am .

Oh ya , I can't freaking wait for december cause its totally

gonna be damn euphoric ^^

Im typing anything that comes into my mind .

I wanna work but my mum & aunt disagree .

*insertsadface*

I think I'll have to keep on persuading mum .

Apparently , she doesn't want me to tire myself & said that

she gives me enough money -.-

BOO.

Enough is enough .

But , I feel the need to know how working life is .

PFFT .

& Yes , Im freaking elated cause mum finally agrees to

let me further my studies abroad after O levels.

She gave me the choice of choosing which country I wanna study in .

But , she's gonna follow -.-

Mum ; "Knowing you Nadia , your gonna be like the kids in America."

Me ; "Whaat? Kay , maybe . But , I've been independant since two cause

you & dad always live me & Aidan "

Mum ; "Still. I dont want you to be too wild."

Me ; " I wont, I THINK."

Mum ; Gives the I dont bother look .

Sorry laa .

I even told her , I wanna go *insertchoiceofword*

She said your old by then .

FREEDOM baby :D

But I'm gonna make a promise to certain people .

You'll know who you are .

Tears on photographs ;

2009-11-05T07:03:00.002+08:00

HEY .

Im up super early ....

0630 -.-

Surprisingly , I don't even feel sleepy

Weirddd .

And to think that I actually turned in at 0245 .

Anyway , my aunt's picking me up later .

So sudden but yeah .

& Ohh , Imran was supposed to call at 0700 to wake me up .

But he still hasn't .

I bet he'll be like 'Uhh sorry . I didnt call you cause of *insertreasonhere*'

LOLOLOL !

And Zaai , all the best on the first day of your work today ^^v

2009-11-05T00:29:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AIDAN !

Your the best brother I have .
At times we do fight & argue .
But I know , You still love me & that
I love you
:)
Thanks for taking care of me when
I was sick & all .
Thanks for cheering me up when I cried
while doing my maths .
Thanks for always cheering me up with yr cute
voice when my modd went haywire .
Thanks for everything
:D
You can never be replace .
May you succeed in your future endeavours
& All the best .
I love you very much .

2009-11-04T23:56:00.006+08:00

Outing with Bestie ;

Outing with Zaai ;

More will be uploaded on Facebook :)

Plastered smile , broken heart ;

2009-11-04T21:27:00.002+08:00

HELLO .

I feel so hyper today :)
HAHAH .
Alright , i woke up at about 10 today .
& Plus , I went out with Zainal today
:D
Which explains why I gave training a miss .
And oh , even Mdm S & Kelsey called me
:O
I dont know why & I don't wish to find out why cause]
Mdm S. is in the picture .
Did I mention that finally , Zaai & I met ?
HAHA .

Met him at Tanah Merah .
He made me wait for him for 10 mins
:p
Trained to City Hall & he sold away his camera lens which he
doesnt want anymore .
Then to Far East if im not wrong .
Ate my breakfast + lunch .
Then walked around .
Then I can't quite remember but Zaai bought his things .
Then trained to Tampines & we had a serious talk .....
Through sms-ing ^^v
Its cool cause we were kinda nervous .
HEH .
Then we camwhored .

& Ohh , congrats Imraaan
:)

Discard those pretence of yours ;

2009-11-03T12:47:00.003+08:00

HEYYO .

Kay so , I had netball training yesterday .
It wasn't tiring just that it was pretty dull .
Coach always do loads of fitness & less ball game .
Thus , I feel that there is no more fun .
Sighh .
Kay then after training , showered & ate with Azra
^^v
We talked ALOT .
Made a move home at about 8pm .

& Guess what ?
Ola is at my place now .
We're gonna watch Orphan later
:)
& She's like going through my stuffs -.-
TSK !
Kay , blog more later or so .
Imran , All The Best for the job interview today aye :D

And If Every Promises , Fulfilled ;

2009-11-01T23:42:00.003+08:00

HEY .

Firstly , I'd like to apologise to Zainal
for not being able to join you today :(
I'll make it up to you soon .
Kay , something happened today , so yeah .

Anyway , mum bought me new pumps ^^
Love you loads :D
& Ohh , she said that I'll be getting my new handphone in December .
I'll have to learn to be patient then .
:)
My point of blogging is not about this by the way .

Truth is , I HATE what my dad has become of .
Fyi , he just made my mum cried .
& My mum was even saying that why does God have to give
her this kind of life .
Honestly , I really feel her pain that I even cried in front of her .
Fuck you pussy .(dad)
If you want your first wife back then fucking fuck off from
our lives .
We don't need you anyway .
What's the difference ?
With or without you , its still the same .
You keep contradicting every statement of yours .
Reality check here ;
Both Diyana & Adiyan are freaking in their 20s & are already
working .
So why the fuck are you still supporting them for ?
Your priority should be on this family .
No more that family .
If calling your ex-wife is so hard for you , I can do it for you .
Stop saying 'It's not the right time' cause anytime is right .
Your a fucking liar & a hypocrite .
If it were'nt for you being my father , God knows what I'll do .
Stop making my mum suffer cause she don't deserve them AT ALL.
I'll pray for her to always be strong & promise to be there for her for
as long as I can .
Even if you get physical , I'll make sure I will get the pain first before her .
This , I vow to myself .
I still love you but you make me hate you so much .
Just freaking change before it's too late .

And I'll run along with the time ;

2009-10-31T13:46:00.006+08:00

HOLLA.

Guess whaaat ?

Im at Ola's place :)

HEH .

I can't believe friday was the last day of school .

*insertshockface*

Anyway , spent it with Learning Fiesta .

Everything else was dull & boring except for the

concert

Alright so after school , rushed home .

Got changed & met Ian , Sin Yee , Rizqin , Hwee Kiat &

Hsiang Ling .

Went E!Hub to bowl & had lunch .

Wanted to catch a movie but some could not .

So yeah .

I swear bowling with them was super fun

Came home & went to Ola's place to insert new things

into mua Ipod touch ^^v

WEEHOO .

Then home .

Today , woke up at 0715 .

Why?

I wanted to do my run with Ola at tampines stadium ^^

Did 2.4km in 9mins .

& I saw Azura there ! :)

Talked & off we went .

Hit the gym with Ola whereas Azura went swimming .

Awesome time spent there man

Did loads of runs .

Spent about close to 2 hours there .

Showered & bused to Ola's place .

2009-10-29T12:35:00.002+08:00

Words can't describe the kind of guy you are .
One second your amicable , then another second ,
your just hostile .

What the hell do you want from me ?
You behave like a jerk , seriously .
If you don't wanna talk then stop being so sensitive .
You keep blaming me & the entire population of girls .
What ?
Your innocent ?
Yeah right .
Look at your own flaws before you comment on others .
Ever thought why we ended up like this ?

You keep saying your hurt , you cry & all .
That's just you .
But you never know what's going on in me .
It's like , your slowly finding your way into my life
repeatedly .
I wanna talk but you said that's just the past .
Then stop it with your weird & nonsensical behaviours .
Just leave me alone if it pleases you .
Stop tryna be all nice , only to stir up arguements .
I hate what you've become .
Fuck this , okay .

If you don't wanna talk then stop talking in all .

More than just a contradiction ;

2009-10-28T16:57:00.002+08:00

I knew the way I treated you the first time when you
had that thing for me was , beyond words .
I've apologised about that .
But the second time , after I've changed my opinion about you ,
I really thought that we would work out .
Im sorry if I've hurt you in anyway or made you cry & all .
I didnt mean to do those .
Honestly , this is like a jigsaw puzzle .

Your a great guy that I've befriended & be with .
You treat girls with respect & never take advantage of them .
Maybe , Im just not the right one for you .
If only , we both can actually just really sit down & have a heart to
heart talk ;
Perhaps , we would find the root of this problem .
I'd be lying if I say I don't care about you .
But really , if only you could open up to me .
I'll always be here , to care & love you , that I promise .
& I don't intend on breaking it .
I don't wanna lose you , not for the second time .
To say sorry to you , I guess would be an understatement .

-

Proper post soon .

2009-10-27T20:13:00.003+08:00

HI .

I swear I had so many plans yesterday but rejected all of them .
HAHA .
For a good cause okaaay :)
Met bestie at Aiport & talked about things .
Finally , a huge weight's been lifted off from me .
^^
Then after which , went home .
I was clumsy -.-
Won't wanna elaborate about that here .
HEH .

Alright so today , I decided to go to school .
:)
Had to finish up with the PGW stufs -.-
I swear its NO FUN -.-
PFFT !
Had to set up the table and all .
BOO .
After school , the gym instructor invited the Sec 2s
for PIZZA at the cabin .
Reason being , this friday is his last day in school .
Training today was ... loads of running -.-
& Plus , we had to use the eye patch thingy which made us looked
like doofs .
HAAA .
Nevertheless it was still fun .
Suicide was . . . great I guess .
:)

& MTEB , sorry for just now . Really . Didnt expect that to happen .
I owe you manzxz .
Still love ya *winks*
:)

Did I mention that I havent been getting enough & proper rest ?
Not because of my body being crazy but . . .
Problems .

Everytime one problem is solved , another will rise up .
I don't know why , but really , your hard to decipher .
You brought that decision upon you .
I know , you know , we know the things we feel .
It hurts , yes it does .
But what can I do ?
I know you wanted us to be like how we were last time .
But , there's a whole lot of things that you have yet to discover .
Your not the only one suffering , crying .
Have you ever asked yourself why I wanted to meet you & specifically said
"We need to catch up on things ."
But no , you chose to go with your new found friend -.-
Go ahead then .
Don't say I never tried , I did .
But really , if me wanting to talk things out with you doesn't work out then ,
why not you solve the riddle that you started ?
It's not as easy as saying 'I love you' , or 'I miss you' , etc .
This will never end until You Start Opening Up .

This love is tearing me apart ;

2009-10-25T22:06:00.003+08:00

HOLLA .

Alright , I went out with my mum today .
Was forced to go Geylang as she wants to get her things .
-.-
I loathe that place so much .
Then after which , to Far East .
I wanted to buy shoes but decided not to rush on it first
:)
Bought a few clothes then home .
I finally pshyco-ed my mum into buying me N97
using her money ^^v
YAY !
I think right , my mum is crazy today .
As in moody .
Her mood kept on changing & everytime she raises her voice at me
without any valid reason , I'll just smile .
:)
HUAAAK .

-

I didn't know you were the same as those guys .
So much for being The Bestie .
I really thought that I could depend on you on just about
anything .
You used to be the one who kept to your words , your promises .
You used to be the one I could come running to if things went downhill .
But I guess , things are different now .
People change ; They come & go .
That includes you , I guess .
God knows what other promises you've broken .
In the first place , if You can't fulfill them , then do even promise .
I really thought you've changed & that things between us would be
what we have planned .
But no , you just had to bring it down .
It takes two hands to clap .
Im tryna fix the picture which was once prefect .
But I can't do them on my own .
Im never gonna back down & give up on what we have planned on .
Til you say its over then Im still gonna keep going .

You hate it when Im out with guys .
Guys who were once a part of mine or even close ones .
& To think of it , I've already cut down on going out with them .
You can't expect me to shut them out just like that .
Your jealous , I understand .
Its normal .
Ever occur to you that Karma will hit you ?
You go out with girls too , dont you ?
Then ask yourself how I'll feel .
Sometimes , you treat those girls better than you treat me ,
Your Goddamn Bestfriend .
I know that , at times , I'm the last to know things .
You said that you trust me , but I don't see it .
I really don't understand what you want from me .
Whenever we've talked things out , it'll only be normal for awhile .
Whywhywhy ?
You always confide in others but not me , always .
Who the hell am I to you ?
You said im this , that , this , etc .
But , I dont see it .

I try to understand you .
But , your just so hard to decipher .
Where's the You I once knew ?
The one who doesnt give up easily & held on to everything ,
even his words ?
I don't know how else to make you realize where we are now .
Someday , there will be a time when we'll be back to okay .
Ever realized how much I've suffered ?
I bet you've suffered enough too .
I don't know how to mend this situation .
& Oh , you've got Her anyway .
I guess ,
I've swallowed more than I could .
& I know , your not satisfied with the photoshoot .
This game your playing , you won .
Just talk to me at will .

When all else fails ;

2009-10-23T22:26:00.006+08:00

HEY.

Photoshoot today was a blast
:)
Woke up at 6 & Zainal fetched me at
Tampines together with Nizam .
Had breakfast & then the make-up.
I must really thank the two Aisyah for doing
the make up & helping to make the photoshoot
a success :)
♥
Zaai's dad sent us to Botanical Gardens .
Went with the two Aisyah(s) , Zaai , Nizam & Kaseh .
Okasha & Nadiah met us there halfway .
The first part didnt go quite well as it was so humid -.-
But it gradually became alot better :D
I swear that the wedding gown was heavy & stuffy .
Nevertheless , it was sucha fun , exciting & memorable time .
:)
I've to admit that the past between us kept coming back .
Then , Nizam's twin , Azam came .
After which , got changed & bused to City Hall .
Had a great talk with Aisyah :)
Headed to Esplanade .
There , we ate the food packed from Zaai's place & played
a game of Truth or Dare .
It was the awesomest yet worst Truth or Dare for me .
It was fun though .
:D
However , what happened during the game will be kept a secret
between the ten of us ^^v
Made a move at abt nine or so .
& here I am .
Thanks alot people for today !
♥

Your not worth the time nor tears ;

2009-10-22T21:47:00.003+08:00

HEYHO .

There wasn't any school for the sec 2s today
due to the promotion day .
So , like I've mentioned before , Im going out today with
skunk :)
Trained to Bugis & bought my things .
After which , did my nails & all .
:D
I heart my nails .
Then to Bedok to do my hair with Azra .
Met Zainal , Kaseh , Khai before that .
Then home .

Im damn nervous for tomorrow' photoshoot .
Zaai's gonna be my Husband for the day ^^v
Don't macam macam hor .
:p
We'll be going to __________ .
There'll even be a picnic .
& guess what , Ive to reach his place by 0730 :O
Sighh .
I better turn in early today .
Wish me luck people :D
& ohh , pictures will be uploaded soon.

-

Don't pretend like you know everything when you dont.
Stop invading into my personal life & pretend you know
the root of it .
Just get lost .
Just so he confides in you , doesnt mean a big deal .
I hate you anyway .

Thought You'd let this flame keep burning ;

2009-10-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

'I'll watch the flame get blown away together with your promises'

HELLO .

So , I got back all of my results except for History .
Im pretty satisfied just now with my science .
Cause , I flunked so much which made me burst into tears in
class .
I was crying like a baby .
HAHA .
A girl was also crying .
PFFT !
Nevertheless , thanks Diy , Rizqin , Nicky , Sin Yee , Hui En
Hsiang Ling & Kelsey for tryna calm me down (L)
You guys are sweet , especially Nicky :D
He never fail to make me smile just now .

But , after school , my day brightened a little ^^
Supposed to catch a movie with Azra & MTEB .
But Azra couldnt .
I think uhh , God macam dah plan gitu .
:)
HAHA .
So yup , caught 500 days of Summer at Plaza Sing.
MTEB really made my day so much .
Love you loads :D
He even teased & physically abused me .
-.-
Nvm , i MORE muscular than you anyway :p
Fact okay .
Btw , i rate the movie 4/5
:)
After that , we ate at MacD -.-
Sumpah like wna vomit laa .
FYI , that was my breakfast , lunch & dinner .
I didnt even finish .
We were ranting like crazyyy btw.
Thanks for hearing me out ^^
At least , we were both stress-free after that .
Then home .
FUNNY la please .
He freaking made me get out at Tanah Merah -.-
PSHKK .

After we alighted , I pushed him towards an Indian woman ^^v
REVENGE .
HEH .
After which , we waited for the same bus .
Before that , we kicked & hit each other .
He keep missing anyway :p
In 293 , i kept punching him & slapped his pretty face :D
A stranger was even laughing at us .
All in all , thanks for cheering me up =)

AZRAAA !
We need to go & party .
Meet ya tmrw .
:)
Cant wait .
Aku harap we can pass to go in into that place .
^^
Then , I wanna go drinkk baby .
=)
Im damn stress that I guess im dependant to it to relieve it .
:O
God forgive me .

Cause your just a heartbreaker ;

2009-10-19T11:09:00.004+08:00

HEY.

Im at my aunt's place now .

Somehow, they never fail to make my day :)

They as in Aunt , Nick , Brother .

& Ohh , have I ever mentioned that my aunt is the only

person I can talk to when it comes to tough situations ?

Saaaaad , but nvm .

So anyway , we caught Imagine That .

I loved the show ;)

& I even cried at one of the part .

HEH .

My aunt is one hell of a rich bitch .

She lives a lavish lifestyle .

When I grow up , I wanna be like her & behave like her .

HAHA .

My mum will totally disown me :O

I owe so many people an outing with them .

BOO .

Sorry guys .

MTEB , I miss you alotalot laa sayang ^^v

When you read this text me kkay .

To be depressed is to be lonely , to have a friend is to be happy.

Memories last forever , never dying . Friends stay together , never saying goodbye.

Zainal , cheer up . (I know its easier said than done)
Friends come & go .

But really , you gotta be strong & face these .

Life is a test ,

Like a roller-coaster .

There will be ups and downs .

But , I'm still here .

Remember my promise .

I will always be here for you .

If she is meant to be that true friend of yours , then she will .

Im sure you won't lose her totally .

At least , you have those memories spent to look at .

To remind you of those bitter sweet moments shared .

You cannot let anything bring you down .

Slowly but surely , You'll be able to find friends who will

have an impact on your live .
Life is too short for you to dwell on things .
Live your life to the fullest .

Im sure your big & strong enough .

We'll go out soon kkay :)

2009-10-16T18:46:00.003+08:00

WASSUP .

Anyway ,
EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER ! :D
Im super euphoric please.

Alright so , science paper today was
Idontknowhowtodescribe laaaa -.-
Maths was *insertlotsofnegativewords*
Geography , History & literature was awesome :D
Anyway , finally Im stress-free .
Gonna have late night calls again & turn in late again .
But not today though cause tomorrow raya :):)

Did I mention that I love studying with MTEB & Azra ?
:D
We never fail to make each other laugh .
Awesome peeps ^^v
& Ohh , I met FARHAN ZAINAL at airport when i studied with Azra :)
*screams*
HAA .
Finally eh pak cik .
I was damn unsure if it was him & was thinking twice to tegur him .
HEH .
Sorry .

-

Your a friend I swear I would never wanna lose .
A friend who never fails to turn that frown of mine
into a smile .
A friend who always pull me up when Im down even at my worst.
You never fail to care and hear me out .
When everyone else turned their back against me , you rescued me from
slipping away further .
Those times when the weight on my shoulder was too heavy ,
you still hang on by my side , tryna bring my spirit up .
Those times when I needed to cry things out , you were there.
Though you may not understand the real thing , I know you tried.
& I appreciate it .
Though I may be mean at times , just know that I love you still .
Those promises I made , I'll never break them.
Those precious time spent , i'll never forget them .
Like a wall , we'll go through ups & downs .

Thanks for everything .

Just The One I Want ;

2009-10-12T20:28:00.002+08:00

HOLLA .

Alright , today's Geography paper was relatively easy .
:)
Except for the fact that I kinda screwed up my map thingy -.-
All in all , I manage to them with ease :)
All thanks to MTEB who never fail to give me the drive to
keep on studying :D
LOVEE AHH :)
Did I mention that I also had F&N paper -.-
UH HUH .
I didnt even studied for it .
Lucky I have a fair bit memory on it ^^
HEH .

After school , went to Airport to study history .
I really envy MTEB for already studying it .
PFFT!
After which , did a little bit of literature .
& Okay fine , MTEB owned me in arm wrestling
:D
Its good that you win cause yr a guy anyway .
HEH .

Btw , I didnt have a good night sleep as I was revising for Geography.
Turned in at 11 , woke up at 3 .
Slept back & woke up at 5 .
TSK !
My mum was even saying that Im studying so much that one day I
can go c r a z y :)
HAHA .
She even scolded me to stop studying .
& Oh , another factor why I can't sleep was because , my mum's gonna surprise me
after the exams ^^

-

All it takes is for me to get a pen & a paper & let
myself pour out all the grieves in me .
It really is amazing how the people that you pin your hopes on
can let you down .
But , its those who are the least expected whose there for you .
I guess , I gotta start considering certain facts & go with what my heart says .
I've gotta take the chance to change circumstances .
I don't wanna fight & fuss no more with you .
It hurts .
I wonder If you can even feel or see the hurt ?
Do you even care ?
Things are really starting to show itself .
You care for someone else more than you do for someone that you regard more
than just a friend .
I really wonder if what I am in your eyes is more than what you utter .
When the time comes , the story will unreveal every misteries I've yearned to find
an answer to .
Im gonna withdraw from this game of yours .

Nazirah Told Me To Do This .

2009-10-10T16:12:00.004+08:00

Okay , I was asked to blog about Farah Nazirah by herself .

I find it rather astonishing .

HAHA .

Alright , see the girl in the two pictures above ?
She's Nazirah :)
She is super hyper & kind .
Not forgetting , irritating :p
But , she's always sweet & the positive one .
Both us went through alot , so many things .
Both the bitter & sweet moments .
I'll never forget them .
One thing's for sure ,
She was always by my side , having my back all the way .
I used to be very lucky to have her .
She never fail to knock some senses into me .
Damn .
Im getting all teary writing this .
Anyway , everything happens for a reason right .
I believe that God is very fair .
I thank you so much for never failing me .
You always pull me back up whenever Im down .
Thanks for your love & care .
All the best in all that you do .
Tc , love you :)
P/s ; You don't need to pay me $1 just to write this .

Lock my heart & throw the key away ;

2009-10-10T09:34:00.002+08:00

Morning people :)

I'm up early , 0815 -.-
HAHA .
Mum was being super sweet today as she cooked for me
breakfast .
Love her :D
Anyway , Im gonna be supeeer busy studying History cause I
didnt even study for it -.-

Alright , I went studying with MTEB yesterday :)
It's really fun even with just the two of us .
I studied his History notes .
I've gotta admit that I bet he'll score waaay better than me for EOY :O
But nvm , Im happy you took the right turn :)
I wanna rock together with you in the same class :(
We both can be the best eurasian siblings eh :D
Thanks for always being there for me & listening to my rants especially about
a guy yesterday .
Love ya ! :D

No , I don't give up on this battle easily .
Unless of course It's your decision .
Im not the girl you used to know once.
For me , you won't have peace when you have foes .
I've went through so much that if at any point of time ,
If this feeling of mine starts numbing , don't blame me .
All of us have egos .
I brought mine down , when's your turn ?
For the record , Im nearing the finishing line .
If your only gonna make things look sweet but bringing it down
with your on act ,
then your doing a good job .

-

If you felt it , then its you .
STOP meddling in my personal affairs .
Who the hell do you think you are ?
You can't be the judge of me cause your NO perfect either .
I've had it putting up with your bitchy attitude .
If you wanna know about me , then ask me .
Don't go around asking others .
& Fyi , Stop taking advantage of the fact that he likes you .
No big deal cause he hates you now .
Its just some infatuation.
Your really an A* actress .
An enemy under the blanket you are .
I can get real even if I want to .
Then hell , you'll know the real me .
Knowing me for just a mere year doesnt mean you know
me well .
That's just the surface of me .

The only reason ;

2009-10-08T19:28:00.002+08:00

HELLO .

English paper started today .
Paper 1 was kinda easy but paper 2
was damn hard to comprehend -.-
Somehow , I manage to really scrutinized it & somehow
understood it .
:)
Then again , I've never had to read such a tough
comprehension .
Cause normally , I DON'T even read it .
I'll just refer to which paragraph they want :)
HEH .

After school , went to study with MTEB , Azra & Ahmad at airport .
:)
Kinda productive for me cause I manage to study .
Had lunch at popeye's & fooled around .
Damn fun .
Expo-ed , & play again :D
BAIK OR WHAT ?!
Sorry eh MTEB for making you late for tuition :(
I feel bad , really .
SORRY !
Mt paper is tmrw .

It's like composing a whole new book with different characters;

2009-10-07T16:50:00.005+08:00

HELLO .

I've been gone for quite sometime .

Reason being , I was very busy .
:)
So far , great things have been happening to me
& my life's starting to take a positive turn .
It feels like a huge burden just got thrown away
:D
I really wanna thank those awesome people
who never turned their back against me when I needed them the most .
Ya'll should know yourselve ^^v
Especially my two studying partners :D
Love all of you guys .

Anyway , EOY is tomorrow & frankly , Im not even prepared .
Not that I havent start on my revision just that Im kinda apprehensive .
Streaming is making me feel so crazy .
Arghh , whatever .
Somehow , my luck is the same as MyTwinEurasianBrother .
:)
But I thank him so much for really helping me out & motivating me here & there .
(L)
& Ohh , I've made up my mind to get N97 after the exams .

I even have a partner to go with, MTEB :D
Reason why I didnt wanna buy it yet was simply because ,
my current phone is barely even 6months old -.-
I feel so spoiled to keep on buying phones .
I think I MUST stop this habit of mine :)
Anyway ,

GOOD LUCK TO THOSE WHO ARE TAKING THEIR EXAMS TOMORROW ! :D

-

I don't know where to begin .
Happy 2 months eh :D
Haha .
You never give up on me , do you ?
Knowing You was never a regret for me .
Thanks for everything that you've done .
Im sorry if I've ever hurt you .
I hope we'll be tight like how we were .
Always remember that Im gonna be there for you
be it when its rough or smooth , rain or shine .
:D
What are friends for right ?
All the best in all that you do .
I've so much to say yet I can't write them down .
Go out soon kay .
Love you :D

Behind coded messages ;

2009-09-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

HELLO .

TUESDAY
Netball training til about 5pm .
Out with Azra .

WEDNESDAY
I felt rather hyper that day , after school ,
spent time with Bestie♥
Had lunch at pastamania , caught Aliens in the attic :)
Frigging funny & sweet ^.^
Then besti sent me home .
Thanks love :D

TODAY
BLEARGHHHHS !
I felt rather lethargic today :/
& I can finally heave a sigh of relieve cause the task
for PGW finally pleases Ms Hani -.-
TSK !
Amelia made my day ^^
Straight home cause I had tuition :)

& Ohh , I might be going out with Azra , Aisyah tomorrow .
Gonna catch Fame at Marina :)

Cause its a game with you on the losing end ;

2009-09-21T11:13:00.002+08:00

HOLLA ! :)

Alright , my first day of Raya went super awesome

In the morning , I had to start the day with asking

for forgiveness from both my parents .

Super awkward , its always like that every year

HEH .

Then headed to my paternal's side which was super kecoh .

My cousins are awesome , even my uncles are like kids :)

& I just found out that Im an aunt -.-

PFFT !

Ate a little , sat for awhile more then headed to maternal's side .

At first it was kinda like quite then one-by-one came .

My cousins were superbly cute and funny :)

I had fun catching up with them eventhough most of my

cousins already start working .

Worst still , some can't even get a day off at work .

TSK !

Mum became a bitch after that .

Shan't elaborate about it .

Since my dearest bestie invited me to his open house , at about

1730 or so , I cabbed to Kembangan MRT .

To his place .

My hands were super cold like really cause I was damn nervous .

I felt like pangseh-ing him for the second time :p

HEHE .

Went in , salam-ed then to the back & talktalk with bestie , or

rather The Big Bully :)

HEEH.

Bestie gave me a tour in his house .

Im freaking jealous of his room :p

Kay then sat in his room , took pictures of him playing the guitar

& singing ^^

Sadly , my aunt just had to spoil the day cause she wanted to fetch me at 9 -.-

If not , I could have spend more time at his place .

Made a move at about 2015 .

Bestie was being a sweetheart cause he actually waited for the taxi with me

Thanks love !

Mum & brother tried the cookies & kuihs that Imran gave me .

They loved it & my brother , being the usual him finished up the whole thing -.-

Aunt came then to her friend's place til about 12.30 :O

Lucky I got Bestie to entertain me .

Talked on the phone :))

Our convo was awesome lor .

Home , showered & sleep .

All in all , bestie really made my day super freaking awesome ! :D

Thanks .

Tonight , my heart felt at place .

Memories in every chapters became vivid in my head .

It felt like the way I first felt when our eyes first met .

I felt the funny vibe .

Can't help but to admit that I still love you .

If I could turn back time , I would .

2009-09-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

HELLO .

Kay so on Friday , I went to JB with momma :)
Collected my baju raya then bought so many freaking things
-.-
It was damn tiring having to carry them from one place to another .
So yeah , reached home somewhere near 12 i think .
Then was on the phone with bestie ^^
Btw , its been long since we had a long talk on the phone aye
:)
Anyway , I'll be here for you no matter rain or shine .
Cheer up kay !
:D
We both samesame .
HEH .

Today was a solid 7 hours of cleaning the house
:)
Somehow I had fun eventhough mum was being a little
irritating , venting her anger on me just because she was mad
at dad .
PFFT !
I love my room alotalot :)
Oh ya , after cleaning , went to get my raya shoes and bag .
After which , broke my fast at granny's .
God , I miss teasing & kissing my youngest cousin :D
HAHA .
Then had a long talk with my aunt who came from KL .
:)
Miss her so much .
Next , bought a few of my make up things then home .
Reached at about 11 and started sending mass messages on raya
:)
HAA .

Did I mention that my life have been improving tremendously ?

I love it loads :)

Anyway ,

Before I go off ,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO ALL THE MUSLIMS !
:)
BUANG YANG KERUH, AMBIL YANG JERNIH .
LET BYGONES BE BYGONES AND CAST AWAY
THOSE EVIL THOUGHTS
:D
HEH .
HAVE FUN !

Time will heal these pain ;

2009-09-17T22:00:00.002+08:00

HEY .

School today was kinda fine , I guess .
Just that I find Ms Yap getting more and more
noisier .
Its like , she loves to shout .
And what more , she sounds like a radio being blasted out
loud .
TSK !
I'll be deaf pretty soon (A lil' exaggerating)
Heh :)
& Towards the end , PGW was being a bitch .
Scratch that , Miss Hani was being so unreasonable .
My group's & a few others had to start their project back from zero .
-.-
GRR !

After school , went to Tampines with Azra cause she wanted to go
to my place to do her eyebrow ;)
After which , bought contacts & home .
Tuition today & yesterday was damn productive .
:D
That reminds me , I havent sign my progress card -.-
I'll be giving training tomorrow a miss cause mum just had to be
a bugger forcing me to go JB -.-
Not that I don't like , just that somehow I love netball
trainings :D

Hothot , I miss you like manymany ^^
HEH .

-

2009-09-15T22:56:00.002+08:00

HEY.

School today was kinda alright.
Literature was super funny .
:)
I had to act as a cleaner who won some
'lottery'
After school , had some talk while revising my maths .
:)

Netball training was next .
Coach was being his mean old self who
loves to pick on me -.-
TSK !
Nevertheless, he made me laugh also .
Anyway , Im right now doing my composition thing .
-.-
Hothot just called ^^
HEH :)
And Azra , get well soon babe ! (L)
:D

I miss hothot very much :D
Hahuheho !
(L)

For you , just for you ;

2009-09-15T19:32:00.002+08:00

Solely for you ;

First things first , nothing last forever .
Seriously .
Which brings me to you .
You promised to never stop loving me .
You promised to always be there, without fail.
You promised to be understanding .
You promised to care for me .
You promised to go through rain or shine without fail.
You promised to stop forgetting your first.
You promised to leave me alone.
Then again , promises are just words til you fulfill every single one of them
And besides , I've told you never to make promises if you can't fulfill them .

If you can't froget your first , I suggest you forget about me , about us being
together now or never .
Its pointless and stupid , really.
Don't bring someone's hopes so high up but end up
bring it down, way down.
Im lucky to have learnt from mistakes , my past experiences.
Where are you heading to ?
Your so fickle that I'm sick , frigging sick of talking
or even entertaining you .
The world does not revolves around you & that others have feelings too .
That includes me .
All this while , I've been putting up a front , just so i could please you .
Said you know me , then again your all mistaken .
You , me are merely just friends .
After all , you brought all of this on you , you made the decision .
So why regret ?
Stupid.
One second your all flaring up , another second ,
you'd send me long text messages saying that your sorry & all
& that you miss me .
Who do you take me for ?
I ain't any piece of tissue that you can just throw and discard y'knw.
If your really a man , solve this the professional way .
Dont frigging hide behind your screen & start blabbering BULLSHIT.
I've had enough of you .
I just cant seem to comprehend what you want of me.
Life's a game and its not fair.
Your free now , go away , far away if all you can do is to cause hurt .
I don't need that .
Like you say 'I will burn those memories away.'
Go ahead , do what you wanna do .
Erase those memories?
Tell your friends so that you look like the innocent one ?
Scold me ?
Blame me ?
Nothing you do will make me at the lost .
I choose who I wanna be with .
After all , we're both still young .
If I can be still tight with my bestfriend who was once mine ,
that goes to say that the problem lies in you , within you.
Your first was always in you , immersed in your thought , without fail.
I guess karma's a bitch huh .
Dont be a pussy , please .
Talk to me at will .

P/S ; I KNOW your blog URL .
:)

You gotta give to receive ;

2009-09-14T18:41:00.003+08:00

HOLLA .

School commenced today -.-
BOO (!)
My night yesterday was awesome cause ,
I talked to hothot & his 5 year old brother .
GAAAAY , both of them are damn cute .
:)
Im envious of hothot cause he got no school today
& his school will only start in the month of October .
BOO (!) (insertlotsofsadface)
HEH.

Walked to school with bestie & exchanged ipods :)
Btw , school today was kinda slack .
I even skipped literature class ^^
HEH .

After school , went to study with Azra & Rizqin .
& Thanks alot Rizqin for your worksheet :D
Studying with them is very fun .
We laughed alot towards the end talking about sick things .
:)
I felt super guilty today .
Nvm though .

Ohh , sometimes I really cannot comprehend why people can be
very busybody or perhaps inquisitive to know about others .
Its like a mind game .
It's either they are tryna dig out something or just plain kaypoh(s).
I loathe the fact that some 'dare' to talk behind but never really
had the courage to come up right infront to talk .
Might as well , just shut your trap before he/she loses patience.
Some people know what's going around.
Its whether these people choose to react or just be cool about it .
You want the right treatment then give the right treatment first .
You gotta give to receive , right .
Cut the act & start looking at yourself beforehand ,
then you can comment on others.
That is if your perfect enough.
This is yours truly , just an opinion of mine.
After all , different individual have different perspective
& view on things.
Therefore, if you're unhappy with the content above ,
talk to me .
Don't frigging give comments at the back.
Everything has a limit .
Nevertheless, I apologise if anyone is offended .
I really have no intention to make anyone terasa or
hint on anyone.
It's just a reflection of mine.

:)

BESTIE , ITS LESS THAN A DAY BUT IM ALREADY MISSING MY IPOD :(
I'VE GOTTA FEELING THAT IM GONNA ASK FOR IT TOMORROW :)
HEH .

How I feel , read my lips ;

2009-09-13T20:47:00.002+08:00

HEY .

For some reason , I feel very happy today .
:)
I only turned in at 0330 today .
Was on the phone with hothot .
^^
We were fooling around about getting married &
having 11 kids just so he could have a soccer team .
Woohoo , that will be helluva crazzaye .
& Ohh , he reads my blog :p

My lips are finally healing after it tore .
The feeling is kinda like when your in a cold country & your lips tear .
Damn painful (!)
R is finally back , yay ! :))
& yes , Im finally done with all of my homeworks except for maths .
CANNOT BE BOTHERED :D
Did I mention that my wednesdays & thursdays are gonna be taken away ?
Nevertheless , Im happy about it
:D
HEH .
Im having a study group tomorrow , can't wait cause
buddy will be there too ^^

-

It's very ironic how the ones you least expected are the
ones who are/were there for you .
'Never make someone your everything ,
cause when they're gone ,
your left with nothing .'
If you want something/someone so much ,
Take a risk ,
Take a chance ,
Make a change .
Thanks R for making me realize helluva alot of things , unknowingly .
I owe you big time :D

& When the time comes , you'll feel me ;

2009-09-12T14:18:00.002+08:00

HEYHO .

Time passes by like real fast (!)
Its already saturday .
OHMYGOD .
Anyway , today I'm not gonna do much cause
I've yet to finish up my English assignments -.-
TSK !
& Maths , can go to hell .
Im not gonna do it cause there's too much .
What's the point of having a holiday when the teachers are
filling it up with homeworks .
Totally defeats the purpose of H O L I D A Y .
:)

& Guess what , I really have a badass insomnia , which is NOT good
at all . I've been turning in like super late & waking up as early as 10 :O
For example , I wanted to turn in at 0230 today but ended up talking to
bestie at 1am plus in the morning . Then got another call from hothot at
0145 :)
I ended up talking to the hothot guy til 5 IN THE MORNING .
GAAAAAAY , I felt so hyped up talking to hothot .
He made me laugh like hell that I couldnt even sleep .
& Ohh , there was one part when he told me a touching story about his lovelife .
Nvm , let's enjoy ourselves now that we're single ! :D
-

Alright , I can't deny the fact that I still think about you .
I miss you guys , real bad .
Memories of ya'll everywhere .
Everytime I say im all cheered up , but
actually inside Im so hurt .
I only wish to make the people around me who cares for me , happy .
Just give me the chance to redeem myself & fix the broken .

Walking Tall Is All It Takes ;

2009-09-11T23:46:00.002+08:00

HELLO .

R & N FTW BABY ! :D
Tc & have fun ! :)
Come back in one piece .

The above was something random yet awesome .
No , R is not my boyfriend just an awesomeee friend !
:)
Kay so anyway , today i went to town with a few of my friends .
Had loads of fun .
After which , met mum at Bugis .
Haaa , shopping yet again :)
Did I mention that I've been having heart to heart talks with her two
days back ?
It felt awesome .
Especially about (insertnamehere)
Alright so mum knows about mua first love ^^

& Ohh , I despise mua sister alot (!)
Yeah , I have a sister , long story .
Damn rude .
At least he bothered to raise you up & give you enough money .
He still carried out his responsiblities eventhough he can't be there for you
physically .
Least you could do is to , APPRECIATE him while you can .
TSK !
25 still like this .
I may hate my father so much til the extent that I could kill but ,
Its not him that I hate but Its what he has became .
Nevertheless , I know that deep down inside of him , he loves this family alot
& still carry out his responsibility as a fatherly figure .

Someday We'll Be Together Again ;

2009-09-10T18:06:00.004+08:00

HOLLA .

My bestfriend's birthday was on the 7th & I stayed up

just to wish her :D

Alright so on the 7th , went out with Ola , Zainab , Nabilah ,

Nitamie & Alfiera =)

The day spells AWESOME ! (:

Broke fast & then bought frolick .

I love it !

Went to Tampines One rooftop & camwhored like krazayyye !

I was the craziest , that is ^^

Pictures on facebook .

Then , to Ola's place for the cake .

Made a move at 11 together with Nabilah .
Thanks for the day girls ! :)

Tuesday , had Netball training .

Wednesday , I met my Bestie .

OMYGAAAAY , I miss Imran lor :D

Heeehs .

Broke fast together with him at Bedok Corner then to the park

which held so many memories .

Again , the day was simple yet awesome :)

Bestie's a big bully & a pain .

But , I still Love Him =)

Thanks for the day !